*a special post dedicated to my beloved late sister*
Where do I begin? There is so much things I want to write about her. She was a good daughter, a best sister I ever had, a really great friend and on top of that, a person with a big kind heart. No matter what I do I can't never beat her. She dedicated her life to make my parents happy and don't have to worry about money and can rest until they get old. Something that I can't do. She never thinks about to get married because all she ever thinks of is to earn more money for my parents. My lil sis told me that my mom told her, she still did locum even though at that time she's very tired fighting her disease. She never told us how tired and exhausted she was. All she ever did was smile although she was tired working and fighting her disease at the same time, When her friends got mad at her because she pushing herself too much, she only replied that she worried about our parents when she's no longer here anymore. Something that she shouldn't do because I can give money to our parents but I never know she did all this by herself since I was too busy with my little family.
As a sister, she always gave me birthday present since I was in high school. She was the only family member that gave gift to everyone even that person never gives her anything. I still remember received a teddy bear with a card for the first time from her. I really love that teddy and I wish I kept it until today. We were not really close. She never shared anything with me and I did the same. And I regret all that. I wish I was more close to her. I wish I could listen to her problems, to her pain, to her suffer. I wish I could tell her how much I love her every day and hug her every time we were saying goodbye. After she fall sick last December, I regretted that I didn't take a chance to hug her when she still can stands. I did wish to spend more time with her but all I did was back home after work and not visited her at my parents' house everyday. I regretted everything especially when I said I want to do everything with her but I never did and now I couldn't do all that any more. I still remember when my father didn't wanted me to continue my master degree. She was the one that encourage me, accompany me to register and paid my first semester tuition fees. When I was at Penang to register my Phd, I cried in my car because I don't have any money to pay the first semester tuition fees and she was the one that offered me a help. I wont be at this level if is not because of her. She was my eldest sister and the eldest of my family and the only one that support every family members even she has to go through all of pain. She the one that paid my brother lawyer so that he can get out of prison early, she the one that gave my brother money when no family members care, she the one that paid for travel expenses for the youngest and she the one that loves to give new clothes, baby stuff to my nieces and nephews when they were born.
When I saw her facebook page, a lot of friends will remember her and post all the good things she had done when she was still alive, She loves to help people, she loves to help her friends, and she loves to donate some of her money. She was not stingy, she was not selfish, she was not a person that kept thinking about herself. She kept thinking about others first that made lots of people love her and on top of that, no one can't replace her place. We had lost a good person, a good daughter and a good sister. Even so, we all know God loves her more. Rest in peace, sister.
)In loving memory, my sister, 25th February 2018)
