It has been four days since I came back home from Penang. I came
back for one purpose actually which was to win the war after I lost in the last
battle that I had with that bitch. Anyway, things are different now. I'm not
fighting in any battle or war anymore. And yup, I'm giving up just like that.
But why? I sound so energetic and full with revenge in my previous post. Why
I'm giving up? First, when I came home four days ago, I thought (well, I
imagine in my head actually) that my family will give me a full support and
perhaps a hug that I really needed (who I'm kidding). In reality, they didn't
give a damn at all. Not even a word. To make it worse, they made a joke of me
(why I'm not surprised). For a moment, I forgot that I have lived with my
emotionless siblings for twenty-six years. Seriously, what did I expect? A hug?
Really? Since I was all alone in this war and the only people that support me
behind my back were 2-3 of my friends, therefore I thought it's for the best if
I just gave up instead of fighting back. It made me think that sometimes it's
not about things that we lost; like in my case I had lost some money, times,
anger and rationality, and winning a fight or an argument. It's about who will
always be by your side, people that have your back and how strong are you as a
person. Giving up in a war that's not worth your fight or times does not mean
you're a weak, coward or quitter. Sometimes it is better to just let it go and
start fresh and made your mistakes as a lesson in this life.
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