lost the battle, win the war

It has been four days since I came back home from Penang. I came back for one purpose actually which was to win the war after I lost in the last battle that I had with that bitch. Anyway, things are different now. I'm not fighting in any battle or war anymore. And yup, I'm giving up just like that. But why? I sound so energetic and full with revenge in my previous post. Why I'm giving up? First, when I came home four days ago, I thought (well, I imagine in my head actually) that my family will give me a full support and perhaps a hug that I really needed (who I'm kidding). In reality, they didn't give a damn at all. Not even a word. To make it worse, they made a joke of me (why I'm not surprised). For a moment, I forgot that I have lived with my emotionless siblings for twenty-six years. Seriously, what did I expect? A hug? Really? Since I was all alone in this war and the only people that support me behind my back were 2-3 of my friends, therefore I thought it's for the best if I just gave up instead of fighting back. It made me think that sometimes it's not about things that we lost; like in my case I had lost some money, times, anger and rationality, and winning a fight or an argument. It's about who will always be by your side, people that have your back and how strong are you as a person. Giving up in a war that's not worth your fight or times does not mean you're a weak, coward or quitter. Sometimes it is better to just let it go and start fresh and made your mistakes as a lesson in this life.      

Accept H0, Reject H1

Rejection is among the worst thing in life. For examples: your paper or your work that you hope will get accepted, but then you receive an email that it’s been rejected; a guy or girl that you have adored for a long time rejects you because he/she doesn’t have a same feeling as yours; you wanted a job so much but then you’re not selected because you aren’t good enough. All of these lead to disappointment. But if you got rejected over and over again, you might feel like it is nothing anymore. Like you have adapted with disappoint of being rejected. And eventually, maybe you will give up on keep trying. That’s what I felt actually. By the time I wrote this entry, I felt half of me have given up on trying. I do not talk about feelings here. Yesterday, I had received another feedback from another organization that had been rejected my journal. It had been rejected AGAIN. I don’t know how many times including this. I felt like I should move on, write a new journal to submit and just ignore the first journal that I ever did.

But something has made me wonder like rejection should make you weak or make you stronger? For the optimist, they might turn the rejection into something that will motivate them to be better than before. So, if I am giving up now, does it makes me a pessimist? *that is not a question actually*