Begin again

After 2 weeks stay at home, finally I’m back to the place that I hate and full of emptiness. I don’t have any choice than stay here until I finish my study. Since I’ve done nothing about my research these 2 weeks, therefore I’ve to start over again. Not only about my research, my life in here too. It’s like I’m back to my old life where no one taking care of me in here but me. It has been 10 months since I move here and still I don’t have any friends. Maybe I’m too scared of being hurt again, maybe I’m the one that keeps pushing people away from my life or maybe someone that suddenly walks into my life and said that he going to look after me just like other people that I know. Well, after all I’m the one that chooses this road. I’m okay this way since I’ve always been alone. In fact, we’re going to be all alone when we die. So, I’m just starting early. Like Paramore lyrics in their new album:

“Ain’t it fun living in the real world, ain’t it good being all alone”

“Because someday you’re gonna be, The only one you’ve got. Anklebiters! Anklebiters! Someday you’re gonna be alone!”